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Late-night hosts do the not-a-fandango USA News Today

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Late-night hosts do the not-a-fandango USA News Today

“I was worried when Sean Spicer left that the communications office at the White House would lose some flava,” Stephen Colbert confessed. “Little did I know that he was going to be replaced by a guy who serves up some very spicy quotes.” 

That would be Anthony Scaramucci, “the guy who orders a martini at the bowling alley.”

Naturally, the Mooch was very much on the minds of the late-night hosts Thursday. Let’s sample their most cutting jokes:

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Colbert warned, “Trump hired Scaramucci to get rid of White House leakers but don’t call him a hit man. He’s just a guy who was contracted to whack squealers by a powerful Don.”

Noting the Mooch’s ire over having his financial-disclosure report, you know, disclosed, Colbert observed, “How humiliating: Now everyone knows he’s the poorest person working at the White House.”

Summing up Scaramucci’s anger over the refusal of New Yorker reporter Ryan Lizza to give up his sources and his own staff giving him a honeymoon period, Colbert said: “I’m Anthony Scaramucci, the Mooch. I’m a front stabber. I’m here to fire everybody. Be nice to me!”

As for Scaramucci’s appraisal that Steve Bannon is, um, er, practicing self-love on the job, Colbert mused, “If Bannon could do that, he’d  never leave the White House. Though I gotta say, we never see him anymore.”

Late Night With Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers started out by playing a clip of Scaramucci trying to convince a BBC reporter that Donald Trump is not an elite like the ones he denigrates because he eats cheeseburgers and pizza. 

“The Trump administration is so insane, even the British are getting flustered now. And the British weren’t even flustered by Dunkirk!”

Offering a defense why Bannon did not defend himself against Scaramucci’s insult, “I’m guessing he was unavailable to comment because based on his skill set, he was otherwise engaged. Or maybe he did comment and it was muffled.”

The Daily Show WIth Trevor Noah

Trevor Noah marveled at the speed at which Trump’s new hire has moved: “Scaramucci hasn’t even been there a week and already, he has his own scandal.”

He passed on playing audio of the Ryan Lizza phone call (“because it will break our bleep machine”) but he did single out one quote about White House chief of staff Reince Priebus, whom Scaramucci called a “paranoid schizophrenic.”

Noah couldn’t bring himself to blame Priebus for his behavior. “Anyone working for Donald Trump would get that way. It’s like being Hannibal Lecter’s chef. It’s only a matter of time.”

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Late-night hosts do the not-a-fandango USA News Today

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Late-night hosts do the not-a-fandango USA News Today

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